Christmas

A little late, but here are the highlights of our Christmas.

We traveled to Delaware on Christmas Eve morning and visited with family. That night, at exactly 7:00pm we went outside to light the luminaries. It was so pretty. All the houses in the neighborhood had them lined up on their sidewalks. As we were lighting them, I wondered if we should be singing something and started singing Silent Night. Renee and Chris thought I was weird, but it felt strange to be doing it in silence.

Christmas morning we went to Denese and Craig's house for breakfast. As usual, it was delicious. After a while, Chris and Hannah left to play tennis but it started raining so they came back fairly quickly.

After that, we went over to MomMom's to open presents with Devan and Megan. They really got a lot of cool stuff. I think they were excited about the Playstation the most.

While we were waiting for dinner to start, the cousins all played dreidel. Chris and brought over our dreidel, but we found out that Devan and Megan had their own from school. Who knew Delaware was so multicultural??!! We did bring gelt for them to play with also.

The whole family came over and we had a really nice Christmas dinner. The food was delicious, as usual! Unfortunately, the ham was bad, but there was still plenty of food to go around. No one ever goes hungry in MomMom's house.

Chris and I drove home after dinner in the rain and darkness. It was a pretty scary but Chris is a great driver and got me home safely. I told him I'd write him a letter of recommendation to his new boss telling him what a great driver he is.

Speaking of which, Chris starts his new job on January 5th! He's really excited about it. There's a lot of room for growth within the organization and he'll be able to experience a lot of different aspects of the business. Unfortunately, he has to commute to DC every day but there's a commuter train right behind our neighborhood so that's convenient.

So, in all it was a really nice Christmas. It was tough because 1) this is the first Christmas without Chris's grandfather but MomMom's such a strong lady and she handled it like a champ, and 2) it was sad that at Thanksgiving we had a new pregnancy to celebrate and now we don't. But I know PopPop's up there with our little baby and they're keeping each other company. Maybe he'll have a little word with the Big Guy and give us a baby by the end of 2007. I sure hope so!

Doctor's Appointment

So, everything went well with the doctor today. He said that all the genetic and chromosonal testing came back normal, which was great news. I asked about seeing a perinatologist and he said they can do the same bloodwork they'd do, so I went ahead and had them draw blood for that. It takes several weeks for the results of that to come in. I've stopped bleeding finally; I bled for exactly two weeks.

I'll update later with our Christmas pics.

Shelves are up!

Chris put up our new shelves while I was getting my brows waxed this morning. I think they look amazing.

Argh!

I had my doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning. This is the appointment to make sure I'm healing correctly and there isn't any infection. I was looking forward to it because this is also the appointment when we find out the genetic testing results and the doc gives me the go-ahead to move on with my life.

Last night at 6:00, my doctor's office called to tell me my doc had an emergency and had to reschedule my appointment for Wednesday the 27th. So annoying! I'm sure everything's okay but I'm anxious to find out the results of everything. I guess the good thing is that I'm still sort of bleeding so a pelvic exam would gross me (and I'm sure my doctor) out. I'm not bleeding heavily anymore but it's enough to where it's annoying. It feels like I'll be bleeding until my next period! :-)

Tree

It just occurred to me that I never posted our little tree once it got all dressed up. Here she is!

Shelves

The shelves at Pottery Barn are on sale! We'll do some measurements tonight and I'll go there tomorrow night after my hair appointment and get them. So excited!

In other good news, Chris had a second interview today with a company in DC and it looks like they'll be giving him an offer. He'd be working on the Admin team and also acting as a driver for the CEO. I'll tell you more once it actually goes through. I don't want to jinx it!

Happy Hanukah!

So, for the first time since I was a kid, I celebrated Hanukah on time and with candles. What does that mean, you say? Well, in my family we celebrate Hanukah whenever we can get everyone in the same place at once. Sometimes it's actually during the holiday, and sometimes it's not until mid-January. And then this year for the first time in my adult life, we have candles and lit the menorah that we got several years ago as a gift from Rosemary (Nancy's mother). I even said the prayers, although I'm not sure I did them right. Close enough, though.

After we lit the candles, Chris and I played dreidel with M&Ms because gelt is gross. It's waxy and icky and I'd rather play for M&Ms so that's what we did. We had to look up the rules online because I forgot. :-) It was fun. I lost.

The rest of our weekend was good. We had dinner with Phil, Laura and Carley on Saturday night and then hung out with them at their house on Sunday. We shopped around for shelves to use as a mantel (our Chrismukah gift to ourselves) but with no luck. We'll figure it out one of these days. We're trying to find some shelves that have the crown moulding look, but can't seem to find the right sizes for the right price. Pottery Barn has them, but they're super expensive. Home Depot, Lowes and Target were useless. Anyone have any ideas on where else to look?

It amazes me...

that anyone could be as in love with their husband as I am with mine.

One Week

It's been one week since we found out the news that our little Nugget had died. It's been one of the worst weeks of my life. A lot of people don't understand what Chris and I have been going through. They think, well it's not like it was an actual child. You only knew you were pregnant for 5 weeks. To that I respond:

Think about when you were pregnant with your first child. You went off whatever birth control method you were using and you were trying so hard to make a new life. Then you got pregnant and you were so excited you could burst. Everything was perfect, but you were afraid to admit that out loud for fear of jinxing it. Then you saw the little heart beating at 8 weeks and the reality that you were going to be parents hit. You started picturing how you were going to set up the nursery, how your husband was going to teach them to play sports, how you were going to read them books while they were still in your belly. Then, a week later, you found out your dream had died. That little baby that you had such hopes for had died inside you. It's paralyzing. Now do you get it?

I can tell myself over and over that we're going to have a baby one day, but I don't know that for sure. I don't know that I'll ever have children. We tried once and failed and who's to say that won't happen again and again? That's why this is so hard. There's such uncertainty.

Belated Birthday

I just wanted to publicly wish our friend Carley a belated happy first birthday! We love you!

Feeling better

I'm feeling much better today. The cramping has stopped and I finally had a bowel movement this morning. My first real one since Thursday! I'm bleeding more than I was, but it's not enough to worry me. I made a follow-up appointment with my doctor for 12/22 for him to make sure everything looks good and I'm healing properly.

I started charting my temps again this morning, and I was at 97.8 which is about where I would be if I were on my period right now, so that's good news. To learn more about charting, go to http://www.fertilityfriend.com/HelpCenter/FFBook/. I charted the two months before I got pregnant, and it was really helpful to me to know what my body was doing. It's pretty amazing. I also read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which was a really great, informative book. A lot of people call it the Rhythm Method and think it's ridiculous, but it worked for us. Granted, a lot of people use this method to AVOID getting pregnant, and I think it's not as effective for that. We use it for the oppposite effect.

Oy

Last night and yesterday were really bad. After we got home from the Hanukah party at Cortney and Adam's, I was in bad shape emotionally. I've been feeling like I have to put on a "brave face" so I don't get the "oh you poor thing" look. And, to be honest, it's exhausting. All weekend I felt like I had to be okay for everyone else, to make them feel less uncomfortable around me. And that is really not in my personality to act like that. I'm usually quite honest in my feelings and such. So, starting today, I'm giving myself permission to be sad and to cry when I want to and to just tell people I don't want to talk about it, if it's too much for me.

As for physically, last night was the worst pain I've ever had in my life. Cramping started around 5:30ish and started coming about two minutes apart. The cramping was so intense that at first I thought maybe it was diarrhea so I went to the bathroom to see what happened. I hadn't had a bowel movement since Thursday (the day before my D&C). I went a little bit, but definitely not enough to warrant the cramps I was having, and then I had a clot that upset me even further. I haven't had much bleeding, but seeing that clot made everything a reality once again, and I lost it sitting there on the toilet. Once I realized that going to the bathroom wasn't the problem, I got back in bed and tried to relax and will the cramps to go away. That didn't quite work so well.

Finally, I had to take a Tylenol with Codeine. I had tried to avoid it because I don't like taking medication I don't really need, but this pain was intense. After about an hour (or what felt like an hour), I still felt the same and asked Chris if I could take another one and he asked me to wait until 7:30. At 7:15 I couldn't take it anymore and had to take another pill. Right after that, it seems my first pill kicked in a little. I was still feeling the pain, but didn't care so much about it and was able to breathe through it without moving all around and moaning. I rested for about an hour and by that time, the cramps had subsided for the most part.

This morning, I'm feeling them again, but definitely less intense than last night. I took another pill just so it doesn't hit me hard at work. I'm not looking forward to going back to work, but I can't stay home forever. I know they'll be patient and caring with me, but it just feels weird to be going back.

Update

Just wanted to update everyone who's inquired about how we're doing. I'm feeling well. A little cramping, but nothing horrible. It's a little difficult getting up and down to sit and I walk pretty slow, but I'm getting better every hour.

Going to the bathroom is an anxiety-producing experience every time. I couldn't go yesterday. I tried and it felt like needles and knives. It was horrible. I called my dr and he said I was probably having spasms from the catheter (which no one told me I had) and it would probably work itself out, or else I'd have to go to the ER eventually and get another catheter. So I waited another while, and forced my way through it. I was grunting and crying and shaking...it was terrible. But now I can go and it hurts a little less every time. But I still get nervous every time I have to go.

My bleeding is minimal. It's much less than I expected to have, which is great.

So, overall I'm feeling pretty good. Emotionally, I'm healing. It hurts every time I really think about it, especially when I'm awake in the middle of the night, but we'll get through it. Chris is amazing. He's handling things very well and is very supportive and sweet and makes sure I'm not doing more than I'm supposed to. I'm a lucky girl.

D&C

We just got home from my D&C.

The ladies at my doctor's office and the nurses at the hospital told me to get there at 9:30 even though my appointment wasn't until noon. I guess they were hoping to fit me in earlier?

They finally called me back around 12:20, gave me my IV, did the usual pre-op questions and then Dr. Montilla came in to discuss. He really is such a nice man. Once the anesthesiologist gave me my cocktail, I barely remember being wheeled into the operating room. I sort of remember them asking me to move over to the other table and maybe feeling them moving my legs around. And I do remember that it was FREEZING in there! That was it until they woke me up a little while later in the recovery area. Chris and my mom were right there when I woke up.

I'm feeling pretty good. Pretty crampy, but not bad otherwise. Emotionally, I'm doing much better than I was yesterday. I woke up a lot last night, and would realize what was going on, and that would keep me up for a while. Plus the crying made my nose all snotty and who can sleep when they're sniffing constantly?!

So, thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. We'll get through this like champs.

Sad News

After a little bit of bleeding yesterday, I called my OB's office and they had me come in for an ultrasound just to make sure everything was okay. I didn't have any accompanying cramping and the blood was brown, not red, so it was old blood, but it made me nervous anyway.

Chris and I got to the appointment this morning and I knew right away that something was wrong. I couldn't see the blinking heart. She tried all different angles and agreed that the baby stopped growing and the heart stopped beating.

We met with a midwife who suggested a D&C as soon as we were comfortable, rather than letting nature take its course, which could take weeks. So we scheduled a D&C for tomorrow.

You always have that thought in the back of your mind, "What would I do if I miscarried" but you never really think it'll actually happen to you. But it did happen and I'm utterly disappointed and sad. But we'll get through this and move forward and hopefully soon enough I'll have good news to share.

I still plan on continuing this blog and keeping everyone updated on our family!

The Best Deliciousness in the World

Chris and I went to DQ last night and I got a chocolate blizzard with oreo and rainbow sprinkles. OMG, it was the best thing I've ever had in my life. And it's got a lot of calcium so it's good for me, right? ;-)

Nothing to report

I feel fine, I'm sleeping 10 hours a night (!), and I have nothing to report.

Chris and I put the lights on the tree yesterday. Well, Chris put the lights on the tree because it turns out that the wire that strings the lights together has levels of lead that may cause birth defects and other problems, so pregnant women are being told to steer clear (or at least wash their hands immediately after handling them). So I had Chris do the lights, and then wash his hands after just to be safe. Turns out the tree skirt we bought is kind of little, so it's now our tree yarmulke. I'll post pics later once we put the ornaments on.

We have a busy weekend planned this weekend and I'm exhausted just thinking about it. On Saturday, we have Carley's first birthday party and then over to Debbie and Bob's to make Christmas cookies with Chris's aunts (well, I'm doing that and Chris and Bob are going to see Casino Royale). Then on Sunday we're going up to Baltimore for Hanukah with my family. Should be a fun weekend, but when do I get to nap??? :-)

Christmas Tree

What a great day yesterday! We went to chop down our first Christmas tree at a farm in the Bluemont area, which is west of Leesburg. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining, the temperature was great. It was just cold enough to make it realistic that we were getting our tree (the day before it was 75 degrees!) but not cold enough to make us freeze. Here are some pics from our excursion.

We walked around the farm for a while and Debbie, Bob and Chris taught me about the different kinds of trees and had me touch them to make my own decision on what kind I wanted. Thankfully, I like the Douglas Fir like everyone else so we started looking around for our tree. And then we found it!

Chris went to work chopping our new tree down and then we carted it away to be shaken and wrapped. But, before we did that, Chris spent some quality time with our now dead tree.

We got our trees (ours and Debbie and Bob's) strapped to the car and then went to get apple pies from Hill High Orchard. They have an amazing Dutch Apple pie. Yum!! We took the trees back to their house, loaded ours in my car and took theirs inside, and then got pizza at a new place in Leesburg. I was sooo hungry from walking up and down the hills at the farm, and the nugget was probably making me hungry too.

It was such a great day. I had so much fun! I can't wait to do it again next year.

Edited to add: Sorry the pictures aren't aligned correctly. They looked really good when I was posting this but didn't turn out so great when it was published. Oh well!

Blah

Not much going on around here. I had some spotting yesterday, but I was prepared for it. My doctor told me that might happen from the pap I had done on Wednesday. It's also right around the time I'd have my period and it's common to have some spotting every month around that time. Even though I was prepared for it, it was pretty scary seeing it. And now today I'm cramping a little, but I know that's normal as well. I'm just freaking myself out, I think.

Tomorrow we're going to cut down our Christmas tree with Chris' parents. I'm so excited! I've never had a tree before so we went out and got a tree skirt and tonight we're getting our tree stand. Apparently, there's a magic one that adjusts so your tree stands perfectly straight. Hopefully I'll remember the camera and can post some pics.

Confession of the Day

I had Nutter Butters for lunch and they were delicious. :-)

Where'd the peanuts go???

I've eaten more than half of this bag of Cracker Jacks and haven't yet come across a single peanut. Where the hell are the peanuts??? I even double-checked to make sure it's not the "peanut-free" version and it's not! Dammit.

Finally!

I had a great night's sleep last night! No restless legs, no trips to the bathroom, no weird dreams...just a nice night of sleep. I felt so awake this morning! I even got up at 6:00 when Chris did and layed (laid?) around and watched tv for an hour. I guess my exhaustion finally caught up with me. Man, that felt good!

Ultrasound Appointment

We had our first ultrasound this morning and saw our little nugget's heartbeat beating strong! It was amazing. The baby's measuring at 6 weeks, not the 8 weeks that we think we are, so we're going back in a few weeks for another ultrasound to make sure it's growing properly and everything's fine. We kept track of when we had intercourse and where in my cycle we were and it's impossible that it's only 6 weeks. It could possibly be 7 weeks, but that's as low as it can get. The numbers just don't add up right. So, once we have the second ultrasound we'll know better what's going on. For right now, I'll continue on as if we're at 8 weeks and then backtrack if I have to in a few weeks when we have more information.

I won't be doing the weekly update and pic until we know what week we're on because I don't want to get too ahead of myself. This week he'd be the size of a raspberry, and he's definitely not, according to our sonogram. He was only measuring 4.5 mm, not the 11 we expected him to be.

This due date change could also be why I've been feeling so normal (i.e., no morning sickness, etc). The dr said that symptoms like that don't usually set in until 7 to 9 weeks.

One more day before ultrasound...

and I'm really nervous. I just keep reading about all these ladies with blighted ovums and embryos with no heartbeat and I'm so scared that it'll happen to me. My symptoms have all but disappeared, which worries me also. I guess there's no point in freaking out now since there's nothing I can do about it but tomorrow morning can't come soon enough!

In other news, my sleeping problems are back. I feel like I've got restless leg syndrome. I get tired and close my eyes and get comfortable, and then my legs start to feel tight and I have to thrash them all around. It's horrible. I was up all night last night with that. One more thing to talk to the dr about tomorrow.

I just found out that one of my broker friends is pregnant also and she's due a month before me, and she also has a Fruity Pebbles obsession! Thought that was such a funny coincidence.

Cravings

I think my cravings may have begun. Last night Chris and I were watching tv and someone had a box of Fruity Pebbles in front of them. For the next hour, those Fruity Pebbles were all I could think about. Until last night, the thought of any cereal with milk made me want to gag. We made a special trip to Giant just so I could get my Pebbles and milk, and it was sooo good!

Thankfully, I'm still feeling really good. I get a little icky feeling at times, but that's usually if I haven't eaten in a few hours. Once I eat, I feel much better. We go to the doctor on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous because I'm not really having very many symptoms. I rarely feel pregnant. I'm worried that there's no baby in there. Two more days...

News Flash!

Here's a news flash to those of you with an aversion to my post about my sex dreams...I'm not a virgin. I had sex with my husband in order to get pregnant...that's how it happens most of the time. And I'm not a pervert because I have some sexy dreams. I even put a warning before the post so those of you who are too sensitive to handle my post had fair warning. If you're going to have an issue with what I'm writing, stop reading.

I can guarantee it'll get worse from here. I'll be discussing doctor's visits, hemorrhoids, and other not-so-pretty things. This is your warning. Either stop reading or get over it. Your choice.

Edited to add: This is not meant for just one person. I've had feedback from several people about it, so don't feel that I'm singling anybody out.

Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Mine was really nice. It was my first in a very long time when I actually ate the turkey! It was best today in a sandwich with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes. Yum!!

Our Delaware visit was really good. We spread the news and everyone was really happy and excited. We got a lot of good advice and words of warning from all the parents in the family. :-) Dinner was delicious, as usual, and it was great to spend time with Chris's family. They're a really great bunch of people.

Nothing new to report on the pregnancy front. I'm feeling just fine. Having some very vivid, terrible dreams lately. Makes me want the sexy ones back. But other than that, I'm doing well. Every once in a while, I get a little crampy, and I get really icky-feeling when I'm hungry, but that's it. Let's hope it stays that way!

Peanut at 7 Weeks

Our little Peanut is about the size of a blueberry this week (9 mm crown to rump). Her facial features are becoming more prominent; if we were to look at her up close, we'd be able to see a mouth, the beginnings of a tongue, and teeth. Her eyes are continuing to form and have a retina and a lens attached. She is now beginning to produce her own blood type. Even though I can't feel her yet, she is squirming around, moving her little webbed hands and feet around, getting to know her surroundings. By now, her intestines and appendix are formed and her liver is working to produce red blood cells.

As for me, I'm feeling just fine. Most days, I don't even feel pregnant! My pants are definitely fitting tighter though.

We're headed to Delaware tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with Chris's family. I can't wait to share the news with them!

Stop it!!

I have a right to get angry if you say something stupid to me. I have a right to get angry if you neglect to tell me information I needed to know. I have a right to get angry if you speak to me in a nasty tone. And I also have a right to get angry if you make me look inept to make yourself look good.

DO NOT blame my anger about these things on hormones. It makes me even more irate when you blame my pregnancy for my annoyance. It just serves to piss me off even more. So....STOP IT!

Dreams

Warning -- may be TMI (too much information) for mom or grandparents!

I've heard that you can have some pretty weird dreams when you're pregnant, but wasn't quite expecting what I'm experiencing. The majority of the dreams I have that I remember are sexual in nature. And they very rarely involve Chris! I've asked around and found that a lot of other pregnant women are experiencing this and another friend of mine told me that I must be having a boy, because when she was pregnant with her son, she thought about sex all the time. In my waking hours, I'm not a cat in heat, but I sure seem to be when I'm sleeping! I feel bad about it while it's happening in the dream, because even in my dream life I'm married and pregnant, but that doesn't seem to stop me. It's terrible. But...it does make me look forward to going to sleep every night! :-)

Beta levels are up!

My bloodwork from Friday confirmed my beta HCg levels are up to 9,559. Normal levels are between 1,080 and 56,500 (pretty wide range). A few weeks ago they were 225, so this is great news!

Freak of Nature

So, besides the adolescent acne creeping up on my forehead and chest, Chris and I have noticed that my right breast is considerably larger than my left one. I've noticed for the past few weeks that the right one hurts more, but it really wasn't visible until yesterday. It's terrible. I think they're a cup size different! Pretty soon I'll be needing a special bra with two different size cups...I'm a freak.

In other news, the one bad thing about stealing your neighbor's DSL is that you're at their mercy if it's turned on or not. Our "host" tends to go out of town on the weekends and turns her DSL off, so we don't usually have internet on the weekends. It stinks when I'm laying around bored in the middle of the night, or want to download another update to my fish game that I'm obsessed with (Big Kahuna Reef rules!).

Enjoy your Monday and send me some sympathy because I'm spotted and lopsided.

Prenatal Bloodwork

Just got back from the OB's office where they drew a ton of blood for my prenatal bloodwork. She stuck the needle toward the front of my arm, rather than in the crook, and it stung really bad! But I got a nice gift bag with some formula and lots of prenatals and a magazine. Plus, I weighed myself and, if anything, I've only gained a pound. I thought for sure I'd gained a few since I was eating like crazy for a week there. But I guess it helped that my food of choice was animal crackers, not muffins. :-)

Bad Temper

One thing I've really noticed lately is my tendency to get really angry very quickly these days. I'm usually very relaxed and let things go, but I just have no patience anymore. I get angry and my heart starts racing when another driver on the road is being an idiot, or turning too slowly, or whatever. I get angry at work CONSTANTLY. It seems nobody has any idea what they're doing and that I'm the only person who knows how to do my job. I got very frustrated yesterday when I got off the phone with a lender and Brent overheard and told me the exact same thing I had just told the lender. So, he was agreeing with me, but it rubbed me the wrong way that he needed to comment about it and not just trust me to handle it. I feel terrible that I'm getting so worked up but I really can't help it. Let's just blame the hormones, shall we?

Peanut at 6 Weeks...

is about the size of a lentil. This week our little Peanut's heart started beating! We won't be able to hear it for several more weeks but, if we were to have a sonogram today, we'd be able to see a tiny, pulsing dot on the screen. Peanut will double in size this week to almost a quarter of an inch long.

She's got a huge head (let's hope it doesn't stay that way!) with dark spots where her nostrils and eyes will be and her arms and legs have become little buds. Her heart is beating about 100 to 130 beats per minute...almost twice as fast as mine...and blood is beginning to circulate through her body. Halfway through this week, she may start moving her tiny little limbs, although I'll have to wait a few more months until I can feel her doing gymnastics.

I'm feeling pretty good so far. The intense hunger I was feeling last week has abated slightly, so I'm not constantly munching on animal crackers. I still get crampy every once in a while, but that has also slowed down. This should be the week when sickness kicks in, but so far I don't really feel it. Let's hope it stays that way!!

I don't have the creativity to think of a title for this entry

Today we went to see Flushed Away and it was a really cute movie. Sydney was so well-behaved and really seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards, we went to the mall and Old Navy, where I got some $5 maternity tops. I can't pass up a good bargain! We went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, walked around Target, and now we're back home. It was a nice, relaxing day. We all laid around in our pj's until noon. I love days like that!

Nothing else new to report. I feel pretty good today. Still having some cramping but I understand that's normal so I won't worry about it. And I didn't have any bad food aversions today, which was great.

No massage for you!

Yesterday, Holly and I had appointments at the Red Door spa for massages, facials, manicures and pedicures. I found out a few days before that I can't get a massage because I'm in my first trimester so we changed it to a seaweed wrap, which they said was fine to do. When we got there, they came in and said that the technician I was assigned to wasn't comfortable doing the wrap on me because it releases toxins just like a massage would and didn't want to be responsible if something bad happened as a result. I understood that and they offered us a free lunch to make up for the inconvenience.

So I waited while Holly got her massage and then they called me for my facial. It was really nice. I definitely like the hot towel the best. Then they took us both back for our manis and pedis and we ate our lunch while getting our toes done. It was nice because they had us right next to each other so we chatted the whole time.

So, I was a little disapointed that I couldn't get the wrap but wound up saving some money so it was fine.

I slept really well last night. I woke up at 4:00am with really bad cramping, which scared me. I went to the bathroom and I think it was just a mixture of having to pee and gas. The strange thing is that when I have to go to the bathroom, it doesn't feel like my bladder is full; it just feels like cramping. Very annoying.

Our trip's been really nice so far. Sydney is just too cute.

Arizona

We are in Arizona this morning visiting Rick, Holly and Sydney. We spent Wednesday night at my parents' house in Baltimore, so we could fly out of BWI on Thursday morning. We told them the good news and they were very excited for us.

We got to Arizona around 1:30 and went straight to the house to drop off our stuff and relax for a minute before we went to pick up Sydney from preschool. I got the greatest welcome from her! She ran right past Chris and Rick to me and jumped in my arms. It was awesome!

We hung around the house for a while and went to the grocery store to pick up some foodstuffs for this week and Sydney insisted that I be the one to push her in the cart. It feels so good that she was so excited to see me. After that, we came home, unpacked groceries, and started dinner. I was really hungry at this point, even though I'd been eating all day (by the way, the vegetable soup at Subway is pretty good!). We ate dinner (including a small piece of chicken for me!) and then just sat around playing with Sydney's new toy that makes fart noises. She loved it. I started getting really tired around 7:00 (since we'd been up since 2:45am their time) but wanted to wait up for Holly to get home. Finally, at 8:00 I told Rick to have her wake me up when she got home but as I was getting ready for bed, I heard her walk in the door. We sat around chatting about pregnancy and stuff and then I fell asleep the second I closed my eyes.

I slept pretty well last night. I woke up around 2:40, which would sync up perfectly with my home schedule, and stayed up for just a little bit and fell back asleep. Yay! I was up every hour or half hour after that until now (6:00 am), which is great. I feel much better having gotten a full night's sleep.

Today, Holly and I are going to Red Door to get spa treatments to celebrate our birthdays. I'm getting a manicure, pedicure, facial and seaweed wrap. I wanted a massage but it's illegal to do one on someone in their first trimester. Damn. So I settled for the seaweed wrap. I have a feeling I'm going to fall asleep during it. :-)

Boring

There's nothing worse than being up at 3:30 a.m. and the internet doesn't work. I was so bored last night/this morning that I had to watch The Pacifier!

Oh, and did anyone see Oprah yesterday where she reunited the girl with her mother from Sierra Leone? I couldn't get myself together after that...I was sobbing! I think I should probably take a break from Oprah and baby shows for a while, at least until this weepiness goes away.

Tired...

I am so exhausted today. I actually slept through most of the night last night (up off and on from 4:30am to 6:00am but went to sleep before 9:00) but I'm just so tired today. I had a large lunch which is probably not helping things but I just want to lay my head on my desk and fall asleep.

So far, I was able to eat pretty well today. I had a smoothie for breakfast and then a potato with broccoli and cheese and a granola bar for lunch. I was so worried about being starving all day like yesterday that I overloaded with food to keep at the office. I probably shouldn't have had that granola bar...it kinda put me over the edge.

I also keep having to go to the bathroom and when I get there, only a little trickle comes out. So annoying! Speaking of bathrooms, I need to vent about our bathroom at work for a minute. First of all, I don't know how I'm going to make it when my smell sensitivity really appears because the bathroom ALWAYS stinks. There's a girl in the office next door who is really gross. Not only is she physically gross (think Mimi from Drew Carey and then picture how Mimi must smell like too much cheap perfume) but she's really gross in the bathroom. I don't know what she eats, but it's rough! And not only that, she's always on her cell phone talking to her boyfriend in Spanish while I'm trying to take care of my business and she's taking care of her own. How gross is that?! Who talks on their cell every time they poop??? So I try to flush constantly so she can't hear and then I run the water really forcefully so it's loud. I'm so passive-aggressive. I need to just say something but I'm a chicken. The alternative is to go upstairs, which is usually fine but not so easy to drag myself up there when I'm feeling this exhausted.

So that's my complaint of the day. One more day before we tell my parents!!

Confirmed!

I just heard back from the doctor's office and the blood test confirmed my pregnancy. I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not imagining things, although those tests were pretty clear. My HCg levels were at 133, which is perfect. Hearing the lady at the doctor's office say, "Well, Amy, you ARE pregnant" was so surreal...

Our little Peanut at almost 5 weeks...

Our Peanut is about the size of a sesame seed and still looks like a little tadpole. He's made up of three layers - the endoderm, mesoderm, and ectoderm - which will later become his organs and tissues. Cells are forming for all major organs and his neural tube is beginning to develop. The neural tube (which begins the brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone) develops in the ectoderm. The ectoderm also creates the skin, hair, nails and tooth enamel. His heart is beginning to formin the mesoderm and is already beginning to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood! The mesoderm will also form his muscles, cartilage, bone and other tissue. The endoderm will house his lungs, intestines, thyroid, liver and pancreas eventually, but right now is creating a placenta and umbilical cord.

So far I'm feeling pretty good. I'm having trouble with brushing my teeth (it gives me the dry heaves) but I think I've figured out a system to make it work. I'm not really having any strong cravings but I'm definitely having trouble finding food that appeals to me, especially for my first meal of the day. I'm also finding that I'm very emotional, and prone to crying over very stupid things, like not being able to find the animal crackers in Safeway yesterday. Thankfully, a mother of two little ones helped me out and the crisis was averted. My breasts are just beginning to get a little sore, but I probably wouldn't notice unless I was looking for it. I'm definitely peeing a lot more, but that seems to be due to my unusual thirst. I'm not much of a drinker (maybe a bottle of water a day) but I went through our Brita pitcher like it was going out of style yesterday.

I'm still having some trouble sleeping. It's 4:30 a.m. right now and I've been up for about 45 minutes. Maybe once we tell everyone my mind can rest and I can get a full night's sleep.

Insomnia

I figured the first night we found out I was pregnant I couldn't sleep because I was too excited and nervous and just had a million things going through my head. But, here we are, two days later, 3:51 a.m. and I've been up for an hour. I'm cold, tired, and a little nauseated. And hungry...oh so hungry! My stomach is making noises I've never heard before.

This weekend should prove to be pretty exciting. We're getting a big, new tv tomorrow and then on Sunday we're telling Chris's parents about the baby. Our plan is to pick up a fleece blanket because we all have our own blankets there to sit with while we're watching a movie or hanging out (they keep their house a little chilly) so we're going to tell them that since we all have our own blankets, we needed one more so we picked it up for them. It should be fun. It won't be their first grandchild, but I'm sure they'll be very excited for us. Every time we see them, they make some sort of pregnancy comment, so I think they're really looking forward to us having a baby.

Well, I'm going to climb back in bed and hope for the best...

11/3/06 Dr. Appt

I went to the dr this morning and she talked to me a little bit about my medical history and stuff and then asked about diseases and/or retardations that run in the family (which was really a scary thought). They took my blood to confirm the pregnancy and will have my results on Monday. I just want to make sure my hcG is high and then I'll probably stop worrying.

I have another appointment in two weeks to do the whole prenatal blood workup and then we have an appointment in four weeks for our first sonogram when, hopefully, we'll see the heartbeat.

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

We found out on November 1, 2006 that we're expecting a baby on July 11, 2007. I'm so excited! Here's a pic of our pregnancy test:

I have my first doctor's appointment today to do blood work and make sure my levels are where they're supposed to be (the pregnancy hormone, hcG, should be doubling every day - this is the hormone that tells the test whether you're pregnant or not). When I made the appointment, the receptionist said, "We need you to come in for a blood test to make sure you're pregnant" to which I responded, "Um, I'm fairly sure...I took four tests!"

So, here's the story. On Halloween night, I was up 4 times to go to the bathroom so the next morning I thought I'd take a test, just to see what it said. Of course I was expecting a negative. The test I took was a cheap little thing and I wasn't sure how reliable it was, but I took it anyway. It was negative after a minute or so, so I hopped in the shower and threw it in the trash. After I got out of the shower, for some reason I fished it out of the trash to see what it looked like, and it had a faint line on it. I wasn't sure if it was a true positive, or whether it was an evaporation line, which happens frequently after the allotted time frame.

Once I was at work, I kept thinking about that test so I went to Dollar Tree, which surprisingly has one of the most sensitive and reliable tests out there and bought 3 tests, just in case I needed a few for next month or the next few days also. I got back to work and took the Dollar Tree test and after about five minutes, it turned positive. I still wasn't convinced because it didn't happen until five minutes later so I decided that I'd go to CVS on my lunch break and get a digital test (one that says "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant").I trekked over to CVS and the only one they had left was expired so I went to Safeway and they didn't have any so I went BACK to CVS and bought the next best thing, a Fact Plus, which shows up with a Plus or Minus sign. I had to wait another hour or so until I had to pee again, but I took the test and here's the pic (along with the Dollar Tree test):

At that point, I knew I was pregnant and was freaking out. I needed to tell someone! So I went on BabyCenter and told all my ladies and they were soooo excited for me. I feel like I'm part of an exclusive club now. It's awesome.

When I left work, I went to Target and bought a digital test (to prove it to Chris in case he didn't believe the other tests), a bib that says "I Love Daddy", a card, and a pregnancy journal (for me). I arranged the test (after I took it, of course), bib, and card in Chris's shorts drawer, which I knew would be the first place he went when he got home.He opened the drawer, paused when he saw what was in there, and asked, "We got a positive?!" I said yes and we kissed and hugged and got a little teary. It was perfect. Then I took a pic of him with our baby's first bib: