Rough Week

This week pretty much sucked.

My grandmother had a stroke. She's in rough shape but I think she'll be okay. She has a lot of paralysis on her left side, and it's very difficult to understand her when she talks. They put in a feeding tube the other day because she couldn't swallow correctly. It's just sad. I feel bad for her because it must be so frustrating to have your mind working perfectly fine but not able to express yourself. She's doing rehab now and hopefully they'll get her back to using her left arm and speaking better. It's hard seeing somebody that's ALWAYS been healthy sick like that. My grandmother has never been a very affectionate person. You always knew she loved you, but she's not the huggy, kissy type. But when I saw her at the hospital, she rubbed my belly for a while and really seemed happy to see me pregnant, and that touched me.

On top of that, Chris' friend Tim died suddenly last week and we had his viewing and funeral this weekend. As a Jew, I'm not used to viewings. We don't do them. Before Chris' grandfather died last year, I had never seen a dead person. It was a very strange experience. In comparison to Pop-Pop's viewing, Tim's was a very different experience for me. First of all, everyone filed in and waiting in line to walk past him in the casket and then greet his family. It wasn't like that at Pop-Pop's. Second, I just don't think it looked like him in that casket. The only thing I recognized on him were his fingers. I remembered his bitten-down fingernails and for some reason, that vision stuck with me, and that's all that really resembled Tim for me. Third, it just seemed very unnatural. Pop-Pop was sick for years. He was older. It was sort of expected at some point. I thought he actually looked at peace laying in his casket. Tim was 25. People that young shouldn't be in caskets and it just didn't look right.

I'm hoping this week is better than last. We have our 4D ultrasound on Wednesday so that'll be a lot of fun. Plus, after several miscarriages, my friend is pregnant again and she's now made it to 6 weeks. That just thrills me. I love her dearly and just want her to have a baby so bad. She was amazing when I had my miscarriage (she had just had her first) and it's been a long road to get here. I can't wait until she gets an ultrasound next week and sees that little bean's heart just beating away!