Five Months

Carter is now five months old. I can hardly believe it. He's got so much personality now. He's like a real person instead of, to quote Angelina Jolie, a blob. He grins and squeals and talks. Still no real giggles though. He's eating rice cereal, peas and green beans. He loves to eat. His little mouth opens wide the second he sees me pull a spoon out of the drawer. He is *thisclose* to flipping over from back to belly. We work on it every day.

We're having sleeping issues and it's been driving me a little mad. I had a 4 a.m. pity party last night. All I could think about as I held our screaming child was that I was so tired, I felt like shit (I have some sort of throat infection), and I was hungry. I can hardly find time to eat anything anymore, especially dinner. I cried and felt sorry for myself for a good half hour. Then, I just had to leave Carter in his crib and let him cry because I just couldn't take it anymore. He cried for about 20 minutes and fell back to sleep, all the while with his Mama crying in her bed along with him. I fell back to sleep and woke 45 minutes later with him yelling again. Again. It had now been 5 times that I'd gotten up with him. This time, I nursed him and brought him into bed with me (Chris had just gotten up for work). He was quiet and beautiful for the next two hours.

I have our babysitter keeping track of his naps for me, and we're going to sleep train him (for real this time) next weekend. This weekend we'll be in Baltimore so we can't do it then. I just can't take it anymore. Chris sleeps through the screaming and it drives me crazy. There's no point in waking him to handle things because I'm already awake. You know? Plus, like most men he gets frustrated quickly when Carter won't quiet down, and I think the baby senses that frustration and it makes him cry even harder. Plus, he's used to being soothed a certain way and Daddy doesn't do it the same as Mommy.

It's hard being his only nighttime comfort. It really is.

Today, I got a bit of a break. I stayed home from work to nurse this stupid throat thing and took Carter to daycare. I slept for 3 hours. It was heavenly. Then I tried to clean the house a little but I'm exhausted after a half hour. Stupid sickness.

And now that I've made this post all about me and not my beautiful birthday boy, I will go pick him up and cuddle with him, because at the end of the day, I just love him so much. He's my world. The 4 a.m. pity parties are worth it.

Oh, and Erika, will definitely be posting as soon as that little baby arrives. She's scheduled for an induction on Saturday if he/she doesn't show by then.