State of the Union

Am I the only one with absolutely no interest in watching the State of the Union address last night? I find it intensely boring hearing the same thing over and over again. The constant utterances of "stay the course" and the mispronunciation of nuclear. It's NU-clee-er, not freaking NU-cue-ler. It makes me crazy. I can't follow anything he says. It's like I start to hear him speak and my mind goes in all different directions. I tried watching the last speech when he decided to send more troops to Iraq. Chris and I sat there watching it together. Every time Chris would make a comment or ask a question, I'd have to admit that I wasn't paying attention. I was watching him speak, but not hearing a word he said.

And it's not that I hate our president or his politics. I just don't find him interesting to watch or listen to.

I was thisclose to being an Army wife. I should be interested in this war and what's happening, but I just can't seem to force myself to pay attention. How many times can you read a headline about a car bomb killing kids and their moms while they were shopping for vegetables at the local market and not start to distance yourself from it? When this war first started, I was glued to the television. I had a vested interest in what was going on. I wanted to know what Chris was headed for. But now, I just want it to go away. I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. Sadly, I think a lot of us feel that way.

I live every day in fear. I'm so terrified that something will happen to Chris or my family. I want to move to a farm in South Dakota some days in the hopes that the terrorists can't get to me there. It scares me that Chris works in DC now. I was there when the planes crashed. I was blocks from the White House that day and will never forget watching the black smoke rising from the Pentagon when I finally got home later that day. I watched the sky the whole way home, praying that it would stay empty. And I still get a blast of adrenaline when we're driving close to Dulles and a plane seems to low for my comfort.

But it also scares me to think about what this country would be like if we didn't fight back. If Al Gore had won that election, where would we be now?