Mea Culpa

Thank you, Karaoke Diva, for pointing out the other side of the story. I had blinders on and am grateful you showed me that I was being insensitive. I knew that my post would offend some but needed to get it out there anyway. I'm glad you didn't take it as an affront and that you turned it into a healthy debate. I really love my fellow bloggers.

Amy

Weekend

What a great weekend. On Saturday we met up with Chris' mom and went out to Middleburg to walk around. They have an amazing yarn shop out there called Hunt Country Yarns and it was great to walk around and touch everything in sight. It sort of motivated me to get knitting and crocheting again. They had some really cool crewel patterns but I don't know what crewel is or how to do it. I may have to get a book. After Middleburg we went to dinner at Magnolia's and got a Dutch Apple Pie from Hill High Orchard. They have the best apple pies EVER!

Yesterday we got about 4 inches of snow so while Chris was playing tennis and then shoveling, I started a fire all by myself. It was so nice and relaxing just lounging around in front of the fire for hours. So much so that I had to take a nap in the afternoon. Poor Chris is the one who played tennis and then shoveled for two hours, and I needed a nap.

But, today it's back to the daily grind and trying to keep my sanity at work. Wish me luck.

Amy

Subscription

So, if I haven't effectively pissed you off enough to stop coming around, please subscribe to my blog using the form to the right. You'll get an email letting you know when our blog has been updated. This way, you don't have to refresh the screen every five minutes to see if there's anything new (yes, Mom, I'm talking to you!).

Amy

Frustrated

I need to apologize in advance for anyone I offend by the following post. This is my outlet and I reserve the right to vent as I please. If you are easily offended, please don't continue reading.

I get so frustrated with the bitching of women who already have children, or at least one child, and are trying to conceive another. I just want to shake them and say, "Suck it up! You're one of the lucky..you have a kid! Go hug them and be thankful for them and get over yourself!"

Those of us who have lost our pregnancies and don't yet have children are in a special category. We don't know if we'll ever have your charmed lives. So when I hear you complain about having too many years between your children because trying to conceive the second or third time isn't as easy as the first, I just want to hit you. Whether they're two, three, or even ten years apart doesn't matter! And the women who want to have another baby because "they're so sweet and innocent and cute" make me want to barf. That's not a reason to have a child. They do grow up, you know. Are you just going to keep having kids until your uterus falls out just because you like babies?

I have made so many friends online (and in real life) that have miscarried their first pregnancies. A few of them have miscarried a few times in a row and they still don't have the children they desperately want. How can you complain about the efforts of trying to conceive another when there are people like us out there? Get over yourself. Seriously.

Oh, and also, stop asking me if I'm pregnant yet. I will tell you when I'm good and ready!

Amy

Affinity for all things GROSS!!!

So my wife and I like to scold, discuss, and laugh about all things gross and disgusting. While sneezing isn't the grossest thing in the world, I get scolded about it all the time. I am an explosive sneezer!!! I sneeze in sets of 3-5 all the time. I don't want to be messy (the gross part), so I plug my nose and hold the sneezes in. She says my head is going to explode! The only side effect is that my hats don't fit well anymore (a little tight)...J/K! So today, I tried to hold one in, but didn't get there in time and I exploded all over my computer monitor. I had to tell my wife, and she said that she almost snootered on herself upon reading about my mishap. Just thought I would let you all know that it is OK to discuss all things gross and disgusting, cause it means that we have a solid, strong relationship...at least until I do something offensive, gross, and/or disgusting again (normally about 15 minutes apart).--DH

Amazing

What a great way to start my work week!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/20/tiny.baby.ap/index.html

Pizza Face

I didn't have bad acne as a teenager. I would get breakouts in my cheeks but nothing out of the ordinary and it wasn't something I ever needed medication for. But ever since I got pregnant, my skin has been horrible. When I was pregnant, it was mostly concentrated around my temples. Then, after the miscarriage, it moved to my chin. Now it's on my left lower cheek/jaw area and it's disgusting. I hate looking in the mirror at myself because all I see is this nasty acne. It's not just a zit or two. It's a colony. And I'm not exaggerating. The picture above is my face WITH makeup on.

Today I made an appointment with a dermatologist and hopefully he can help me clear this up. I'm embarassed to leave the house, and I feel like it's such a gross thing for Chris to have to look at. I'm sure he'll say he doesn't care, but it really bothers me and I think about it constantly. He's got such nice clear skin and I'm jealous.

In other fun news, I've had over $16,000 in medical bills from the past three months but it's only cost me $40 out of pocket. I love my health insurance.

I'm It

Tag. I'm It. Canape tagged me and now I have to tell you five (slightly odd) facts about me.

1. I have an irrational love of cake. In fact, I ate cake for breakfast this morning. My husband helps feed my addiction.

2. I am waaaay overdue for my monthly Brazilian. Like, grossly overdue.

3. I have more online friends than real life friends.

4. I fear that when I get pregnant again I won't be able to enjoy any of my pregnancy because I'll be too scared.

5. Every time I fly I'm convinced I'm going to die. I bargain with God to let me live to (fill in the blank). For instance, when I met Chris in Arizona last year I kept asking God to let me survive long enough to see him again. And then on the ride home I wanted to survive long enough to get married. And so forth.

I don't know too many bloggers so I'll tap the ones I can and everyone else can do their Five Facts in my Comments section. Andria, Erika, and Stephanie...you've been tagged. I'd tag Fertile Mertile but Canape already got her!

Genetic Testing, continued..

Chris got his results back from the genetic testing, and he is NOT a carrier for Canavan Disease, so we're in good shape on that front. Just wanted to share the news.

Jury Duty Update

They didn't want me. I got into a courtroom and listened to them question others and then they sent me away without even asking me any questions. It seemed like a nice juicy case too. It was a civil case where the Plaintiff was asserting that the Defendant initiated a false criminal complaint against him. There was stalking and firearms involved. I wanted in on that! Oh well. Maybe next time...

In other fun news, I just had another 32 day cycle. What's with these long cycles??? Making up for the perfect 28 day-ers of years past? I know 4 days may not sound long to you "normal" people, but to us gals who are eager to be pregnant again it's forever. Plus, my temps didn't cooperate so well this month. Usually I can tell when my period's coming because I have a significant temperature drop. Not this time! She surprised me in the middle of jury duty. Damn witch.

Jury Duty

Off to serve my civic duty. Yay.

Anna Nicole

M and I used to watch Anna Nicole's show before Sex and the City every week. It was so fun getting together with her and watching that show every Sunday night and making fun of Kimmie and saying that she looked like the guy from The Princess Bride. Whenever Anna Nicole would be in the news (which was ALL the time), I would think back to those days and really miss them. Now that she's gone (Anna Nicole, not M!), it makes me really sad. I'm sad that her daughter's going to grow up without a mother.

It's always shocking and sad when someone you love dies unexpectedly. But it's a different kind of sadness for me when a celebrity dies like this. When I think of certain celebrities, I think of my friends. Whenever I see Caroline Rhea or Michael Rappaport, I think of Marcie because those were the first celebrities I ever saw when I used to visit her in L.A. When I think of John Heder, I think of Chris' family in Delaware, because they looove Napoleon Dynamite. And when I think of Anna Nicole, I think of M, and I miss her.

Perinatologist

I went to see Dr. Khoury, the perinatologist, this morning. He basically thought I was crazy for coming there since I'd "only" had one pregnancy loss. He said that my doctor ordered way more tests than he would have and he thought it was overkill. He didn't see any reason for me to have another miscarriage, other than bad luck.

Although he kind of made me feel like an idiot for coming to see him, it reassured me that there's nothing wrong with me and that one of these days I can have a baby.

In other news, Miss Carley made it through her tear duct procedure like a champ and she's recuperating at home. I bet her Mommy and Daddy are relieved it's over!

Shout Out

Check out Andria Jolie if you're into the celeb gossip thing. She's an awesome chick and a true survivor.

To my friend...

Thank you for sharing with me. I know the pain you're going through and I'm here if you need anything. I love you and your sore vag. :-)

Weekend

This weekend was an exciting one. The main reason being that we have a new toy:

We got a great deal on it at Best Buy so we just couldn't pass it up. It's so very pretty. :-)

On Sunday we watched the SuperBowl at Phil and Laura's house. I made chili and Laura and her friend Melissa supplied appetizers and dessert. It was a lot of fun. Chris and I picked Carley up some slippers because she's having tear duct surgery this week and everyone needs something comfy to wear after surgery. Here she is enjoying (?) her new slippers.









Chris and I went to a genetic counselor this morning and they took some of his blood just to make sure he's not a carrier for Canavan Disease. The counselor was pretty confident that he's not and that we'll be okay. It should take a few weeks for the results and I'll let you all know. I will say, however, that the person who designed the waiting room did a beautiful job! If you ever have a need for genetic counseling or IVF, go to Genetics and IVF Institute and enjoy the waiting area. They have a huge saltwater fish tank that was completely enthralling. They had three Nemo fish that I know all the kids must go crazy for.

I liked being in there. It's hard going to my OB/GYN's office b/c there are pregnant people and baby pictures everywhere and, in my mind at least, they all got pregnant after one month of trying and never had a miscarriage. At least at GIVF I know that the ladies there also have issues and I feel much more comfortable and less sad there.

This week I have my perinatologist appointment as well. I'm sure that'll go fine also. I'm not worried.

So Sad

This made me so sad. I don't know what kind of crime would deserve this kind of punishment.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/02/police.miscarriage.ap/index.html

Two Months

It's been exactly two months since our miscarriage. One would think that by now I don't think about it all the time, but I do. Every single day, several times a day. I don't cry much about it anymore, but I do think about our little Nugget a lot. In a few weeks, we'd be finding out if we were having a boy or a girl. That sucks.

New Year's Resolutions One Month Later

So, how have I done with my resolutions? Let's take a look:

1. I hereby resolve to wash my face, brush my teeth and take my vitamins before bed every night.

I've done really well with this. Now, it feels weird if I don't brush my teeth or wash my face. There have only been one or two days when I didn't do the whole trifecta.

2. I hereby resolve to keep my house straight and not just when company is coming over.

Yeah, not so good on this one. I try to straighten and clean on the weekends but don't do much during the week. I do, however, keep the kitchen sink more clean than I used to.

3. I hereby resolve to lose weight, unless I get pregnant. In which case, I hereby resolve to gain weight. And lots of it.

I joined a new gym that I'm starting today. Thus far, I've failed miserably with this resolution, but I'm hoping the new gym inspires me and I can drop some lbs.

4. I hereby resolve to go to the gym three times a week.

See above.

5. I hereby resolve to stop cursing as much as I do.

I forgot about this resolution. Dammit. :-)

6. I hereby resolve to be the best wife I can be.

I'm pretty sure I'm doing okay on that front but you'd have to ask Chris.

7. I hereby resolve to keep my car clean.

My car's not a mess, but there's some stuff in there that could stand to be either thrown away or brought inside. In addition, it needs a good wash.

8. I hereby resolve to keep these resolutions.

Okay, it seems that I've only kept one or two of these resolutions so far. Here's hoping I do better in February!