Friday, July 11, 2008

July 11th

Today, we would have been celebrating our baby's first birthday.

Instead, I spent the morning kissing and cuddling and loving on my little boy that never would have existed had our Nugget not died. It's a happy day, just in a different way.

I'm finally at a place where I can say (albeit with tears in my eyes) that yes, it happened for a reason. Carter was meant to be our son and the pain and the grief was worth it. Every second of it.

11 comments:

Andria said...

Hugs. I know how bittersweet days like this can be. The thinking of "what if"... Hope you have a great day.

Shelley said...

You know I believe things happen for a reason, even though sometimes you really never figure out why. Fortunately, it is very clear why you went through all that you did. Carter is the reason you can celebrate 365 days a year.

Erika said...

I remember reading about another mom's difficult conception/pregnancy journey and she talked about a song by Rascal Flatts called "Bless the Broken Road" and it seems so fitting for anyone who has had to overcome difficult things to get where they are today - because it led them to where they are now.

So bless YOUR broken road today! Thinking of you!

pinkmorning said...

this is how i felt too on baby's EDD last month...but it is amazing how much i have forgiven myself (didn't realize until halfway into this pregnancy how much i was punishing myself for miscarrying) and can celebrate life, even on the hard days. i hope you do something fun today.

canape said...

Said so very well, Amy. I could say the same words tomorrow.

J.C. said...

Thinking of you guys today.

Beth said...

**HUGS** I'm thinking about you. Give Carter an extra squeeze tonight.

Tiffany said...

Big hugs hon. I'm sorry and happy for you. Carter is amazing and I'm so glad you have him!

Jessica said...

Sorry I missed that special day...
Belated hugs to both you and Chris... And do me a favor, thank Carter for me. :)

Butrfly Garden said...

"Bittersweet" is the only word I could ever find to describe that feeling.

You're an inspiration, Amy. As is Carter. :)

JJ said...

awwwww (((hugs)))). I totally believe that things happen for a reason and I see testimony to that in my life over and over again...in fact, today! Squeeze. Hug. Squeeze. nice.

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