We had our hospital tour last night. One would think that it would ease my worries and make me more comfortable, but in fact it had the opposite effect. We were in the L&D room and I was fighting back tears. I just kept picturing myself on that bed, with doctors and nurses all around me, and got very, very scared. And then Chris and I talked about why that scared me on the ride home and it made me cry even harder. I'm truly terrified about giving birth. And I don't think I was scared before last night. It was more of an abstract thought, I guess.
The L&D room was very nice. Very big with shiny wood floors. Private. But the Family Centered Care room (postpartum) was TINY. I don't know how the Turkey, Chris and I are going to fit in there, especially with visitors!
And I'm sorry to report to my online friends that the wireless internet will not yet be available by the time I'm there. They'll have email through their tv system thing, but I won't be able to post like I'd like to. I'll have Chris send a pic and info to Girl if she doesn't mind and have her do my dirty work for me.
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21 comments:
You are feeling that way because reality hit that you will be having your baby soon. Your focus has now turned to the delivery portion and not just on being pregnant. It is a very normal feeling. When you arrive at the hospital, you will be scared but that is not what you will be focused on at that point. You will just want to get him delivered and know all is well. Kudos to you for admitting your true feelings.
I was scared, too. And I know you have been told not to worry. Everything will be okay.
Baby,
I want you to post this for me. I can only read stuff, the system will not let me post anything. I love you and you are great!!! And our son will be great also, cause he has the best parents around!!! And yes, I know this will make you cry a little (if not a lot), but I LOVE YOU and wanted you to know that I know you can do this!!!
"Baby...I know you are nervous about all this...But I want you to know that I am nervous too. I am not nervous for me, or about what kind of parents we will be. I am nervous cause I have never seen you so nervous. I know you will do great, and I know that you will be the best mom in the world. You are such a loving, caring, and special person! I know you will take great care of our son, cause you have already taken such great care of me. Just think back to all the times you were with me in the hospital, and had to care for me. It's my turn to return the favor. I LOVE YOU and rest assured that I know you are going to be a great mom!!!
-DH
OMG. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Chris's entry is so beautiful and so from his heart! He is a very special man and you are lucky to have found each other.
And now I'm laughing b/c my mom just used the phrase "OMG"
Giving birth is such an awesome experience. Enjoy it (and stand up for yourself and what you want!)
Best of luck to you! We were all scared at some point, it is a natural thing. You will do great!
Yep. Me too. I was completely terrified. But you know what? Women have been doing it for thousands of years. If they can all do it, so can you. Heck, if I can do it, I know that you can!
Labor & delivery = very intense, painful, joyful, hunger-provoking, funny, exhausting & trying time. BUT it only last a short amount of time. It's a time for you to proud of your great accomplishment & to be focused on the end result. You will do just fine - I know that without a single doubt. Your body knows what to do too, although you may not feel totally in control. You have the best partner ever. He will get you through it and before you know it, a beautiful son will be placed in your arms - not just Amy's arms, but Turkey's mommy's arms!! For the rest of your life they will be, for him, the safest and most loving place in the world. What you felt last night is so normal - I think at some point we all felt something similar. We all love you and we love how you've allowed us into your life during this wonderful experience! I am so proud of you!!! Best of luck to you all next month...
Just take it one step at a time - all you need to focus on right now is knowing generals of how you want things to go and then just think about getting there. Once you are there, you focus on the next step, and then the next. Thinking about it all at once is a bit overwhelming if you're already anxious about it.
And if you think the postpartum room is small, then maybe don't have too many visitors. (Personally, other than grandparents, I didn't want anyone else!)
As for no wi-fi - you can turn on mobile blogging and at least do a photo/text message to update as much as you need to. But Chris is good too. :)
I felt the same way you did and I was surrounded by all of these women on our tour who were so excited and couldn't wait to be in those stirrups. I stood in the back, hid my tears and squeezed my husband's hand until it went numb.
The day I was in labor I told my mom that I changed my mind and I didn't want a baby and I had no problem being pregnant forever. Slightly irrational, I'm well aware!
It's scary...it's unknown but you will be ok and it really is perfectly ok to be scared!
You have incredible strength, and I don't even know you and I can tell that from those who do!
Wishing you the best!
As someone who just went through it as a bystander...it is scary, and wonderful, and beautiful, and amazing. You will be okay.
I believe in you and your ability to bring Turkey into the world. I can imagine labor being scary. I was very nervous about it with DS. I am also very worried about it with this baby. You will do amazing!!! You are a strong, capable, courageous woman!
Hi! I'm canape's sil and have been reading your blog since we both had a m/c in Dec. I am 36 wks pg today with #5 and just wanted to say that if I can give birth, ANYONE can. And I'm not even kidding. I am the biggest chicken ever. The 1st time I ever went to the GYN I fainted in the waiting room after having my finger pricked. If there is anything I can do or any question I can answer that might help you, canape has my email, so just ask away!
I just wanted to say that it's normal to be nervous, but you will do wonderfully! And I wanted to say that what your DH wrote is so cute! You have a great guy.
Amy,
I've been sort of a lurker on your blog since the end of last year (happened upon one of your comments on Babycenter.com) and I've been following it ever since, praying for the little baby about to be born. I feel like I know you a little bit and I wanted you to know that I wish you the best. I just had a beautiful baby girl on July 28th and the memory of her delivery is fresh in my mind. You'll do great; I can tell you're a positive, upbeat person which already gives you an important advantage. Expect the unexpected, but know that you will come out if it with the best thing ever - your litte one. Good luck....
Omg I am beyond honored. You have my phone number toooooo right????
You'll be great, I promise.
Fear of giving birth is completely nautural and normal emotion at this stage. We all fear the unknown...heck a lot of us fear the known!
I've been following you and Chris through this pregnancy and I have no doubt in my mind that there is nothing the two of you cannot accomplish together. Just remember you won't be alone, your amazing husband will be right there by your side and together you will welcome your first child into the world.
Thinking of you ~
I was totally freaked at the thought of actually having the baby. Let's just say I was physically sick with fear and anxiety the week before my c-section. I don't want to go into the details.
I think every woman who is in your position is a little afraid; but I think every woman who has been in your position will tell you that the minute they held their baby all anxiety, fear, self-doubt floated away. I promise you, it will float away for you as well.
How do I know...I know because you will be so overwhelmed with the love that you have for Turkey and there will not be any room for anything else; I promise.
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